dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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