whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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