Whod you bang
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
