glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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