I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
