And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
