I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
