So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
