hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
