dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
