I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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