I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
porn star boner night. come get it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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