yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
