I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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