I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just had sex on a roof
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
