I got chris browned last night
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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