I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Terrible idea I love it
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
