We're like a lot better than the average bears
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
