He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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