ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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