i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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