I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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