At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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