i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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