i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
