Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
