Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
