I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think my vagina is haunted
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
