Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
