he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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