whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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