You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
do nipples grow back?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
