we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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