I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
