so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
