I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
