did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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