So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
