I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
