You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
