I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
