If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
