Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
