yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
