I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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