You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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