I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
