He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish life had little blips of pornography
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
