she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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