My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
