The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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