I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
