then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
