Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Randomize
